Of all the misconceptions（錯誤的想法） about love, the most powerful and pervasive^{1（常見深入的） is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations2（顯現，表示） of love. -- M. SCOTT PECK}

People who are married or in committed（堅定的，效忠的） relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in porce? Why has the national porce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?

The answers to these questions are plentiful^{3, but the main reason is simple. It's easy to fall in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our smartest choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it's one of the major ingredients（成分，原因） in life-long success for men and women. It lengthens4 life, substantially boosts physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or porced people or those who live together, reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.}

So let's wake up, make up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with what's really going on in their partnerships^{5 is the fact that the majority of people who file for porce say they didn't think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee, it's often too late.}

Truly there is no reason to resign（離職，舍棄） yourself to a bad relationship? Whether you're dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicamen（窘況，困境） again, you can learn to have a fabulous^{6（很難置信的，非常好的） relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of porce and adultery in second marriages.}

Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the problem is yours. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can't run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a safe relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don't know how to validate^{7（驗證） each other than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for fighting fair are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.}

One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different childhood wounds that we're trying to heal. While it may seem like we're from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy^{10（性行為，親密） . We only behave differently in our quests for（追求，探索） closeness. STOP doing what you think is fair or right and start doing what works! It's not about working harder it's about working smarter.}