1. He has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

他有兩個大腦，一個丟了，另一個去找去了。

2. She got into the gene^{1 pool while the lifeguard wasnt watching.}

她一定是趁救生員不備，跳進過基因池。

3. During evolution, his ancestors were in the control group.

假如進化時他的祖先不是在控制組的話，他或許不會這么蠢。

4. A room temperature IQ.

IQ簡直和室溫一樣高。

5. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, youd get change.

假如你用一分錢買他的想法，你還能拿到找零的。

6. She found some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but she just gargled.

人家暢飲智慧之泉，她卻只不過拿來漱了漱口。

7. It takes him an-hour-and-a-half to watch 60 minutes.

他要花一個半小時來察看一個小時。

8. She sets low personal standards and then consistently^{2 fails to achieve them.}

她給自己設定的規范實在太低了，但每次還是達不到。

9. If he were any more stupid, hed have to be watered twice a week.

假如他再笨點兒，就要一周給他澆兩次水了。（把他當植物來看了。）