And there was heat, a strange moist heat at his temple that seared through the freezing water that kept swallowing him, a fire where no fire should burn.

這里的 that kept swallowing him和 where no fire should burn應該都是修飾the freezing water的吧。a fire是 sear的賓語。

那樣作者為何把這個句子寫得這么別扭？

And there was heat, a strange moist heat at his temple that seared a fire through the freezing water that kept swallowing him, where no fire should burn.

如此寫對不對？

原句好好的，為什么要改呢？反而改錯了。

a fire 是 heat 的同位語，網友把它放在seared 的后面作賓語：seared a fire 是不對的。sear 的賓語是“燒焦某物品”，如何能是 fire 呢？“燒焦了大火”？

a fire where no fire should burn 是 fire 的定語從句，表地址。類似：

It was a firewhere no fire should burn.那是一場不應該燃燒的大火。